I’ve had a very busy and manly day, doing DIY things all around the flat. I started out by touching up the bathroom. It seems to have dried very evenly, but when I pulled off the masking tapes I found some little edges of blue paint that had been hiding themselves yesterday. I got rid of them while I munched my toast and drank the first of about a dozen cups of tea. I now know exactly why builders and decorators drink so much of the stuff.

That job done, I washed the paint brushes and set about replacing the draft excluders on all of my windows. I cut away the old stuff, which was now decidedly flat and lifeless having been trapped between a window and a frame for three years and sanded away the residue. It was all going very well until I opened one of the lounge windows and found a nest of the one creature I hate above all others.

I don’t know why I don’t like ladybirds - I just don’t. I’d prefer spiders (unless there was actually one anywhere near me, in which case I’d probably argue for ladybirds again). There must have been three dozen of them sitting happily in the window frame.

I slammed the window shut again and had a little think about what to do. I was very tempted to leave that window entirely and put up with the draft until next summer, until I realised there was a chance they’d be able to climb in through if there were any gaps in the frame. In the end, I went and collected the rubber gloves from the bathroom so I wouldn’t actually come into contact with them, folded up some junk mail from the Norwich and Peterborough into a little scoop, and opened the window again.

Fortunately it’s extremely cold today so I think they were hibernating, so when I put the scoop behind them and eased them out onto the window-sill most of them just fell over onto their backs and lay there with the feet up in the air. Some of them seemed to wake up, though, so I eased them over the edge in the hope they would remember where they’d put their wings for winter before they reached the ground.

I felt quite proud of myself when they were all gone, and finished the windows. I’d rather over-bought on the insulation and still have enough left over to do a five bedroom family home in Surbiton.

To mum’s this evening for Sal’s birthday dinner. First thing I did when I got there was have a shower. I’ll be glad tomorrow when I can use my own again. We had far too much to eat, but it all disappeared, and spent the evening slowly digesting it in front of the telly.

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