Goodbye
On the train home this evening, I sat next to a guy reading Personal Computer World and I couldn’t help watching him almost all the way back to Chelmsford. Fortunately he was very unobservant so I could keep flicking my eyes away from my book to see which page he was on, and as we passed through Harold Wood, I saw that he was reading my column.
I looked at my watch and timed him. He’s spent about four minutes reading Gordon, so I wanted to see how I compared.
For a nasty moment I thought it was going to flick straight past as he was fingering the corner of the ad on the opposite page, but I think this was just an unconcious thing. By the time he was half way down the second column he was vigorously picking his nose, dropping bits on my picture at the top of the page (ewww…) and had been going a couple of minutes.
Then, as he moved onto the third column, a woman in the seats behind us stood up and slammed the window shut. He looked up from the page and directly at me, then a second later turned back down to the column. If he recognised me from the picture he certainly didn’t show any recognition.
He reached the end in 3 minutes 54 seconds. Not bad. About the same as Gordon, but with the added bonus of nose picking and window activities.
Hmmm…
For as long as I can remember, people have always said that when the Queen Mother died we would have solemn television and radio for a whole week. While it’s true that on the day of the announcement things were somewhat subdued, they were nothing like I had expected, and pretty quickly the schedules returned to normal.
This morning was the funeral, so I was keen to see how the national and London radio stations handled it. Fortunately I now have a digital radio card in my PC, so at the start of the service at 11.30, and again when it closed at 12.30, I scanned each available station to see what was going on. I wonder how many of these examples of output follow expected protocol.
11.30am - start of funeral service
ITN News Funeral Service CoverageBloomberg Funeral Service Coverage
Classic FM Bird sound and serious classical
Core Alicia Keys / Falling
Life Extreme / More than Words
Oneword Novel reading
Planet Rock Pink Floyd / Leave us kids alone
Primetime Radio Funeral Service Coverage
talkSPORT Commentary
Virgin Rod Stewart / You’re in my heart
AbracaDABra Kids songs (Mary Poppins Style)
Choice Relaxing music and news (programming suspended until 2.30)
Liquid Robbie Williams / Angels
Purple Radio Piano-led vocal, relaxing music
Ritz Funeral Service Coverage
SBN London Funeral Service Coverage
TAP Asian pop
The Arrow The Doors / Riders on the Storm
The Storm London Travis / Lucky Man
BBC London Funeral Service Coverage
Heart Blue / I Swear
jazz fm Very smooth jazz
Ministry of Sound Piano-led dance
Saga Funeral Service Coverage
Spectrum Slow Asian music
The Groove 60s music
Travel Now Travel news
WLON - The Mix Bangles / If she knew what she wants
BBC Radio 1 Wyclef / No Woman no Cry
BBC Radio 2 Slow guitar-led music
BBC Radio 3 Violins
BBC Radio 4 Funeral Service Coverage
BBC Radio 5 Live Funeral Service Coverage
BBC 5Live SportX Ad for station
BBC 6 Music House of Love / Shine On
BBC World Service Funeral Service Coverage
Capital FM Gabriel / Gotta Be
Capital Gold Bangles / Eternal Flame
Century London Simply Red / Rolling back the years
News Direct Funeral Service Coverage
Kiss Chillout music (programming suspended until 3pm)
LBC Funeral Service Coverage
Magic Beatles / Long and Winding Roads
Sunrise Radio Funeral Service Coverage
XFM Guitar rock
12.30pm - close of funeral service
ITN News Funeral Service CommentaryBloomberg Funeral Service Coverage
Classic FM Violin music
Core Backstreet Boys / Drowning
Life Travis / Sing
Oneword Book reading
Planet Rock Stranglers / Something better change
Primetime Radio Albatross / Fleetwood Mac
talkSPORT Funeral Service Commentary
Virgin Semisonic / Secret Smile
AbracaDABra Piano music
Choice Relaxing music and news (programming suspended until 2.30)
Liquid Rap music
Purple Radio Slow vocals
Ritz Song about a woman who has ‘gone’
SBN London Rock music
TAP Asian dance music
The Arrow The Adventurers / Broken Land
The Storm London Train / Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)
BBC London Travel news
Heart Whitney Houston / My Love is Your Love
jazz fm Smooth jazz
Ministry of Sound Dance music
Saga Elton John / Song for Guy
Spectrum 80s-style Asian music
The Groove Soul music
Travel Now Travel news
WLON - The Mix Belinda Carlisle / Leave a light on for me
BBC Radio 1 Artful Dodger / Think about me
BBC Radio 2 Funeral Service Commentary
BBC Radio 3 Happy string music
BBC Radio 4 Funeral Service Coverage
BBC Radio 5 Live Funeral Service Coverage
BBC 5Live SportX Ad for station
BBC 6 Music News Direct
BBC World Service Funeral Service Coverage
Capital FM Commentary from end of service
Capital Gold Commentary from end of service
Century London Rod Stewart / Have I told you lately
News Direct Funeral Service Coverage
Kiss Chillout music (programming suspended until 3pm)
LBC Funeral Service Commentary
Magic Cliff Richard
Sunrise Radio Speech
XFM Nirvana (Sandstorm?)
It’s been quite a strange day all in all. After my confession of two days ago that I still can’t remember my neighbour’s name there was a note on his door this morning that he’d signed with his initials, which was all I needed to bring it back. Then, just as I was getting out of the shower, the post arrived. Only it was the wrong post - it was for the flat upstairs.
The postman (I assume it was the postman) banged on the door to get it back but I was dripping wet and didn’t think he’d appreciate seeing me in that state, so I let him wander off while I dried and dressed. Anyhow, two good things came of that. One was that I learnt the name of the upstairs man, which ups the total to two in one day, and I also got to see the view from the second floor. You can see far further than I’d imagined. With binoculars I reckon I could see the cat playing in the garden in Galleywood.
Then, second coincidence of the day - coming in to work I caught the tube from Stratford instead of going all the way in to Liverpool Street and sat on one of the strange end-of-carriage perches they have on the Central Line. The seat was still warm from the guy who had just got up and moved from there to one of the more comfortable seats along the side of the carriage, and when I looked up at him I saw that it was Michael Barry, a guy I went to school with and haven’t seen in ten years.
Now this would not be in the least bit remarkable except for the fact that I had a dream about a school reunion on Saturday evening and woke up really happy, convinced for a few moments that it had been organised and was really about to happen. Then, three days later, I sit in his seat on the tube.
OK, so perhaps not as amazing as your numbers coming up on the lottery. In fact, probably only amazing for me (and for him if I’d actually gone over and said hello), but it was a bit of a bizarre coincidence.
It’s ten years this year since I left school. I had hoped I’d have been able to do more than I have since then. I wonder how much I’ll manage in the next ten.
If you liked that post, then try these...
Robbie Williams on July 21st, 2001
The sun always shines on TV on December 15th, 2002
The Book on September 29th, 2008
Internet detox on September 16th, 2007
Enough of the heat on August 7th, 2003