Nik lives in Essex, UK and works in London as the editor of MacUser magazine. The posts and comments on this site do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions of values of his employers.
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London is rubbish in the weather. Any weather. Today it was almost unbearably hot - I took a bus instead of a tube - and the Standard is talking about a pall of smog hanging over the city. Certainly it all seems very grey.
Yesterday, though - the one day of the week I really needed to get home on time - we had rain, thunder and lightning, and they closed the Central and Metropolitan lines due to ‘adverse weather conditions’.
Yes, adverse weather conditions. Let’s not forget that these are tunnels. Covered railway tunnels. And that in the case of the Central Line they run very very deep below the city. How can they be scuppered by the rain?
So, I stood for ages at a bus stop, waiting for a never-appearing bus, before giving up and trying on the tube again. I made it in the end, and got to Helen’s graduation celebration dinner on time after a longer than anticipated session with the Spanish tapes I’ve pretty much memorised ready for next week’s travels.
I’m not sure they’ll put me in such good stead, though. The woman on them is a money-grabbing bitch, not a lost tourist on a rowdy street corner. Still, at least I know how to ask how many Pesos a man has, then give him the flick off if he doesn’t have enough to satisfy my tastes.
“Hola Juan”
“Ah, buenas tardes, Maria. Como es usted?”
“No muy buen, Juan. Por favor, tiene un Peso?”
“No. No tengo.”
“Pero tiene Dolares, no?”
“Pardon, Maria. No tengo Pesos, y no tengo Dolares.”
“Usted Norteamericano, no?”
“Si, soy Norteamericano, pero no tengo Dolares.”
“Adios, Juan.”
Cow.
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