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If they’d been in a swimming pool it would have been called petting. When they’re doing it on the lat pulldowns in the gym, though, I don’t know what it’s called. From the way they were going I’m fairly sure it would have been called full-on sex within thirty seconds of me leaving.

So, I drove from there to get petrol, the car running on nothing more than fumes. The little light on the dashboard has been blinking at me a couple of days now. I’d been planning what I’d eat all though my workout, so bought carrots and a potato and set my mind on raiding the freezer the moment I got back home.

Now, there’s been a strange smell in my flat the last few days. It started not long after a marathon batch of washing, so I’d assumed it was wet towels. But the towels dripped dry and were duly tumbled and the smell stayed put.

It wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It just smelt… damp.

So, I got home with my potato and my carrots and switched on the oven, then turned to the freezer and opened the door. I was hit by a blast of warm damp air. First that was all I noticed, but then came the smell. Like a hundred thousand warm wet towels left to rot in a pile a corner.

For a moment I couldn’t work it out. It was such a strange sensation. First the heat, then the smell. And then, as a tricke of dank brown liquid dribbled out onto the floor I worked it out. The whole thing - and all the food inside - had defrosted.

And that explained the smell.

I looked at the switch and saw that it was turned off. Beside it, the base unit of my ageing Mac, and an equally decrepit laser printer that had been stacked against the wall waiting to be taken off to the tip. When I put them down, almost two weeks ago, I must have knocked the switch and turned off the freezer.

I reached in and picked out the boxes and cartons, all warmed by the busy bacteria in the rotting food they contained. Some held firm, while sodden and sagging, but others tore the moment I picked them up and spilled their putrid contents in the drawers.

The food has gone now, and I’ve cleaned it all through and through, but the smell is being an impolite guest and refusing to leave now the party’s over. I’m burning jasmine and lotus flower, but it’s a tough race and at the moment the freezer is still leading by a nose.

I, meanwhile, am eating lentil soup. My potato and carrots are in the fridge.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 25th, 2002 at 10:46 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.