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Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians…

There’s a line you don’t expect to hear at the opera.

…what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fucking fucking fucking fuck…

There’s another one.

In an attempt to get at least vaguely close to culture, Paul and I met after work and went to Jerry Springer, the Opera last night. We got soaked on the way, of course, getting ourselves caught in a thunder and hail storm in Covent Garden. It was one of the most impressive storms I have seen in a very long time, with the hail bouncing high off the roof of the opera house, and finding its way in through the great glass ceiling of the Apple Market, to land on the tables and seats where we were sheltering.

I took pictures, but they didn’t come out so well.

…Slut junky, gay whore, gay whore, skanky skanky slut whore…

Anyhow, when it died down we made a run for the theatre and watched the mis-guided Mr and Mrs Old, and their friends Lord and Lady Even Older filing into the foyer and milling around before taking their seats.

What they thought Jerry Springer was about, I don’t know, but from the level of Diamonique on their fingers I’m guessing they were more QVC than Living TV, so their ignorance is understandable… Needless to say they quietly disappeared during the interval and were absent for the second half.

A weird thing happened last night when I went to take a leek
I ended up pissing on a man with a glorious physique
I said what on earth are you doing on the restroom floor
He said stop asking such stupid questions and piss on me some more

The over the top reviews certainly weren’t exaggerations. It moves so fast, it’s very funny, and the cast sounds great. There is so much going on in the background you never quite know what to look at, and it actually has a fairly intelligent (if highly blasphemous) back story.

The only trouble, of course, is you go home humming the lyrics, and ‘three nippled cousin fucker’ isn’t something you want to be singing on a train.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 28th, 2004 at 11:57 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.