If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

As if a dozen emails a day offering viagra, breast and/or penis enlargement aren’t enough, I get home tonight to find the printed equivalent hanging from my letterbox. Which mailing list I’m on, and how I got there, I don’t know, but it’s come all the way from the Netherlands, which baffles me.

“Dear Prospective Customer”, it starts, before launching into page after page of the kind of filth that would make even a net porn spammer blush:

If you like to watch beautiful young girls pissing, then you will love this video. An amazing thirty-three piss scenes, all outdoors and in very public places. Sixteen piss through their panties, four through their nylons, and other thirteen with naked p*****s. Limited sex action, just scene after scene of female pissing! Excellent picture quality. 82 min / live sound

I guess I’m starting to sound like a puritan, but perhaps they should have put the terms and conditions of ordering in clear bold letters on the front page, rather than buried away at the back. They give you a clue as to the kind of stuff the videos are made of:

By ordering from *** you are certifying that:

(1) you are an adult over the age of eighteen
(2) you expressly wish to view the explicit contents of the dvds and videos you have ordered under your freedom of expression rights as conferred upon all EEC citizens by the European Court Of Human Rights
(3) you will not be offended, shocked or disturbed by the contents of these dvds and videos as described and pictured in this brochure

I am confused by one of them. It’s German, but I think I can guess what Monsterschwanze means. Anyhow, apparently, ‘eight young women are subjected to the impossibly large cocks in eight complete segments.’

Why the ‘impossibly large cocks’ have been cut into ‘eight complete segments’, though, it never quite lets on.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 4th, 2002 at 11:19 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.