Watering the garden is turning into a dangerous battle between me and the hose. The puncture is quite close to the end you water with so it follows you around as you walk round the garden, spraying ten feet into the air. At one point it had me trapped down by the greenhouse until I did a quick flip of the wrist and turned it over so that it was spraying into the grass and I could make my escape.

Paul and I sat down with the computer and worked out a route around France for the end of the month before breakfast. The bog-standard dial-up connection here is so much quicker than my so-called ‘broadband’ cable modem at home. I must MUST complain to Telewest when we get back from our travels.

Assuming it all works properly we should head out east into the mountains for a few days first, then down to the south for a few days with dad, returning home via Paris, where we’ll stop for a while. Stopping off at dad’s half way through the trip means we’ll be able to use his washing machine, so we only need pack one week’s worth of clothes for the two-week trip.

I wrote everything down on the back of an envelope - the best medium for notes - we breakfasted and then got in the car for a second attempt at IKEA. Fortunately we didn’t have the problems we had last time, but we did cruise around the car park for ten minutes before giving up when we saw the queues at the door and went to Lakeside (shudder) instead.

They’ve certainly smartened the place up a bit since Bluewater opened, and in places you can see where they’re still working on it, but it’s still not quite up to the standard of its rival over in Kent. That didn’t stop us spending money there, though. I bought a new sports bag to replace my TCP stinking gym kit bag, and some maps and books in a shop that was having a closing down sale. I passed Paul a few books, too, and suggested he could save money on my birthday presents if he bought them.

We stopped off at mine on the way home for tea and to call dad to warn him of our travel plans, but he was out - probably accompanying cyclists on their bikes. We tried to book some hotels online, but my connection was so slow we gave up and I came back up to Galleywood to let out the cat. I found some new GoCat in the cupboard (Tuna and Salmon) and she went wild. I guess eating the same food all the time must be quite dull.

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