Nik lives in Essex, UK and works in London as the editor of MacUser magazine. The posts and comments on this site do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions of values of his employers.
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Now I’m not usually much of a one for reading The Sun, but you have to admit today’s front page was a work of genius, picking out six English yobs who got themselves in trouble for rioting in Portugal and printing their pictures with a descriptive word written beside each one: Halfwit, Peabrain, Plankton, Thicko, Stupid, Witless.
A. Work. Of. Genius.
And what a fantastic word plankton is. It was long overdue a revival.
Beyond that, football is a wonderful thing. I don’t understand a single thing about it, but as England and Switzerland were playing tonight (and apparently we won 3-0, which by fluke of coincidence was pretty much the UK and Switzerland’s Eurovision scores this year, too), which meant nobody wanted to come home from work on time, leaving the trains all but deserted.
We could do with more of that, please.
Anyhow, in preparation for heading off to Portugal myself in six days time, and spending three days dodging the English yobs, I’m trying to learn the rules of football, without success. Last time I watched a match was in a bar in China, which complicated matters somewhar, so I’m still very confused about anything beyond the fact there’s a ball, 22 people and two goals.
I think the safest thing to do will be to just cheer when everyone around me is doing the same.
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3 Responses to “Plankton”
What’s “football”? LOL!
I used to follow Spurs as a kid, then Arsenal then I lost interest. I’ve never really understood what all the fuss is about.
And then over here (USA) they’re sports mad! Omigod! Football, baseball, basketball, hockey… talk about competitive! And I don’t understand a single one of their games!
BTW, Kristin, I think you are the first “thigh fetishist” I’ve ever met 
Nik, I wouldn’t worry too much about learning the game. I can assure you, the sheer euphoria of being in a crowd so big, at such an event will be enough to ensure you have a good time. Although, I’m not sure which game you are lucky enough to have scammed tickets for (do you detect a hint of jealousy - it’s not too late to invite me if you feel bad); the venues vary from about a 30,000 capacity, up to nearly 70,000 in Portugal. I’ve been to a 68,000 game and it was wonderful. In football, time goes so quickly. Them 2 x 45min sessions just fly by ( luckily for you I guess giving you more time for the hospitality, no doubt all-in with the package - I would wish for nothing less of course)
• Posted at 9:43 am on June 18th, 2004 by kev.
There is a ball, two goals, 22 people and 44 very nice thighs (which basically is the only reason for watching it).
When I was in college the fitness instructors decided to make both boys and girls do fitness lessons together, which meant both sexes playing footie or basket ball together. I could never keep my eyes on the ball, for I would get easily distracted by the guys’ firm, bare, succulent thighs. When I told my mother about it, she called me a female chauvinist…
• Posted at 11:07 pm on June 17th, 2004 by Krist.