‘Let’s imagine a history
in which comet and earth don’t collide
and somehow over the centuries
the dinosaurs have survived.
‘Perhaps it just grazed the atmosphere
cos its fly-by was high by a mile
or maybe it came a bit later that year
and the earth had been gone for a while.
‘Either way, there was no eruption
as it ploughed into our planet
which is why giant lizards are causing disruption
to trains calling in at New Barnet…
‘…Hitchin, Biggleswade and London Kings Cross for at least the next hour. Passengers are advised that tickets will be accepted on alternative routes.’
She asked if I wanted to watch her bat box.
I asked, ‘fly or welterweight classes?’
‘Pine,’ she said, ‘with two roosting rails,’
and she passed me a pair of field glasses.
Playing cards on Friday night
we heard a Turkey coup
as birds of war like iron hawks
above the Bosphorus flew.
The army, in a cuckoo’s cloak,
stormed the rulers’ nests,
deaf to dovish calls for peace
from leaders in the west.
The plans they laid were doomed to fail
like chicks hatched out of season;
and rebels, caged like mynah birds
now face trial for treason.
Our new PM was elected
with fewer than 200 votes.
That’s how politics works these days.
Like it or lump it, folks.